The Beginning of the End

Right. We've started wearing shorts to school, we've gone back to spending Friday's drinking at hopscotch and trying to kill each other on the bumper cars, we've had a barbecue at the beach, there are giant ants everywhere, we eat meat on sticks outside again, chubby middle-aged Chinese guys are rolling up their tops and letting their guys hang loose. I'm calling it, it's Summer. Summer in Dalian turns the city into a completely different place. After a bleak and frankly desolate [and frickin' windy] Winter, it's nice to have rays of hope shining through the classroom windows. Instead of hustling home or to a cafe after lessons, we eat lunch outside and frolic [yes, frolic] on patches of grass. It's no Greenwich park, but it'll do.

Pictures of  劳动公园 [Laodong gongyuan, Labour Park]

The whole feel of Dalian is different too. Despite being in the grips of boredom, you find that you're more likely to be arsed to do things when the weather's nice. We go to the [the] park and drink beer during the day like the foreign hooligans we came abroad to represent in the first place, and some of us have even started exercising. To be fair, some people were training for the sports fair [see Sports Day for more crazy China details], whereas I'm just starkly aware of the fact that I've put on a few, and have decided to jump on the sports-zeal bandwagon.

Our campus turns into a lovely little wilderness in the Summer

In other news, you know your year abroad is truly coming to an end when people you've spent your whole 9 months with start leaving. I'd like to semi-dedicate this post to my good friend Warren, by far one of my favourite people in Dalian, and one of the few Americans who doesn't irritate me just because of his nationality. His sharp wit and sarcasm will be missed, as will his blunt remarks and 'love' of teaching. God, I'm really selling him aren't I? It's alright, he's quite good-looking though which makes up for it. Anyway, I'm gonna miss him, we're all gonna miss him. But I'm mainly jealous that he gets to leave and I have to stay here. He may be leaving during the period of best weather, but at least he's leaving on a high.

Me and Warren

Warren being manly [in a Chinese way]

运动会！！

Ah the scent of Patriotism in the morning. I do love China. You know how I always say bitches be crazy? Well, you know who else be crazy? China. Just so you're aware, 运动会 [yundonghui] means Sports Day [bold intended]. You remember Sports Day, right? That day, or couple of days, where all the athletic kids were forced to do the competitive races like 100m and relay, the people whose defences could be worn down were forced to do the horrible things like shot-put and 1500m, and the moaners and chubbsters had to sit on the sidelines for the whole day and pretend to give 2 thirds of a shit? Well, that is exactly what sports day in China is not like. Lemme walk you through it, that way, you can make an impartial, unbiased evaluation of China's level of insanity.

The actual event took place on the Friday of last week, so of course the Chinese students had been practising for about a month or so, training up and preparing for the Opening Ceremony [yes, Opening Ceremony, don't do a double take, it happened]. Here's some prep evidence:

Just some casual frog-marching practise. Oh yeah. That actually happened. Then there was the actual ceremony. Well, first, we all have to show up at 7a.m to receive our free departmental T-shirts. We weren't as organised as some departments, which had come up with chants [accompanied by those big Chinese Drums you saw at the acutal Olympic opening ceremony], costumes, marches, mascots and some had even learnt these flip-card routine things so the audience spelt out characters Like 'Go DUT!' [Dalian University of Tech.] and '加油!' [Good luck/go for it!]. I don't think I'll ever be able to do the atmosphere justice - just imagine a Man city vs. Man U game, but with less hooliganism and more organised, communism style 'fun'. Seriously, most of the audience was made up of freshman, who weren't allowed to leave otherwise they failed 1/4 of their credits for that year. Brutal. Most of the foreign students had f'ed off by 9:30.

Reppin' the Foreign Students'  Orange T-shirts

our motley lot 

Just an example of how other departments were better than ours

Yes, their signs make a picture. As you've
probably guessed, this is the history of art's section

The actual sporting events weren't quite so organised. In typical Chinese style, the bulk of the effort was put into making the whole thing look good, whereas the quality was just left to be 差不多[chabuduo, more or less, but in a bad way]. It was still a good day out - even though it was 28 degrees, with no clouds and no breeze from about 8:30. The true sports fans stuck it out though.

Some foreign students in the relay, action shot!

Some of our teachers...

...more teachers [and the one on the right's son]

Men's 400m relay...we did not place. But I don't think we came last...

Martha in the women's 3k...or was it 5k? Whatever 7 1/2 times
round the track is

Marth came 3rd in her race! There she is rockin' some Bronze

As you've probably guessed, I did not participate. Hey, if I had, who would have written the awesome blog post about it? Get some perspective people.

Xx

News and Culture: Tidbits

I don't really have an overall message in this post, I've just found and been shown a few interesting things that I thought ought to be shared and, to be honest, I just haven't used the 'News and Culture' title in a while. The first piece of 'news' is regarding myself and, of course, my Chinese. I had been complaining that my 口语 [kouyu, Spoken Chinese] wasn't quite as good as my other skills and, as if it heard my calling, the Universe sent me a series of tests and morale boosts in quick succession.

The first test was in the form of a taxi drive at roughly 2 a.m. after having consumed a substantial quantity of alcohol - I had had a bit to drink too. I can't really get his accent across in Characters, but I'll give it a go in the transcript. I feel the need to include the characters, just so you can get a feel for how complex it got at one point. The conversation went a bit like this [I missed out quite a lot of slurs, 'excuse me's and nonsense]：

D: 你是哪个国家的？[where are you from]
Me: I'm from England
D:英国啊！你汉语说得挺好，学了多长时间了？[England, hmmm, your Chinese ain't bad, how long you been studying for?]
Me: About two years
D: 是啊？那你觉得英国和中国有什么差别？ [What's the difference between England and China]
Me: eeehhhh...there are quite a few, for example the food is completely different, also everything's much cheaper in China-
D: 中国对你来说很便宜吧！现在英镑和人民币是什么汇率？[China is obviously cheap for you! What is the exchange rate]
Me: 10 to 1, taxis are quite expensive
D: 在英国你们谁都有车，对吧！你们的领导是谁？[But you've all got cars in England！Say who's your 'leader'?]
Me: *ok, that topic changed quickly* Well, we have two leaders. A Prime minister and a Queen
D: 为什么？
Me: Well, the Queen is more for ceremonial purposes, whereas the Prime minister makes the actual decisions. But technically he can't pass any laws without the Queen's permission.
D: 好复杂雅！[How complicated!] 那，你觉得[and this bit I can't actually write in Chinese], how long do you think it will take for the Chinese economy to catch up to Britain? [Yh! I know, right!]
Me: Ehhhhh......Well, in my opinion between 5 and 10 years. China has the ability to catch up and the materials, it's just that the quality is lacking. I feel if the Chinese were more innovative [创新的, yes, I know the Chinese for innovative] then they could catch up faster, but they definitely have the man power and education system to overtake the West soon. Boom.

I did not say boom at the end of that conversation.

The other morale boost was the fact that a lady who works in a shop on campus said that my Chinese was very 标准 [biaozhun, litt standard, in this context bangin'], much better than most of the foreigners that go in. MWHAHAHAHAHAH. ha.

Also, Holly and Shinya went bungee jumping, which was suspiciously cheap, but apparently very fun. I have yet to be convinced on the 'fun' part, but they're still alive which was a better outcome than I had anticipated, especially on Shinya's part. It was also suspiciously cheap. You know how I feel about suspicious things.

This is Holly shittin' herself

This is Holly being pushed off a cliff by a Chinese man

This is Holly diving gracefully into a good time. Or just paralysed with fear...

The following items of News and Culture were lovingly donated by Tim Graham, ever aware of the fact that I'm in China, and taking an active interest in my education by helping me keep up with what's going on. He's surprisingly good at it - much better than I am, and I live in the bloody country.

The first is the story about this girl growing up black in China, which is a genuine tear jerker and a youtube video.

The other is an article about how Chinese people are a bit crazy about education, which isn't really news but still an interesting read.

Good day all xxx

Too Much Focus

To avoid becoming one of those bloggers who gives daily 2 paragraph updates about the food I've eaten/'experienced' that day, I'll try and keep on developing new neuroses/ privileged girl problems to b*tch about. Today's problem revolves around the direction of the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people in the unfortunate position of 'about to graduate but have no direction in life', no no noooo. If anything, I've got too much direction, but have recently discovered I don't have enough/ the right qualifications to fulfil these 'directions'.

Lemme break it down for ya. To avoid confusing myself/ exploding, I've decided to apply for two routes. There is The Law Route and there this The Stanford Route. Yes, both absolutely ridiculously competitive at the best of times [which is not right now] and both requiring dedication on a level never before witnessed by one such as myself. I'm talking, no video games for the next 3 years sort of dedication.

The Law Route involves applying to about 15 different City Law firms hoping that one of them will give me a training contract, pay for my law conversion and Legal Practice Course, hire me for at least two years, and give me a starting salary of roughly 35 grand. No, I don't think that's unrealistic. Oh wait, unrealistic for me? Oh yeah, definitely. I don't do 'extra curriculars' [speaking elvish does not, apparently, count], I'm not on-track for a 1st from Oxbridge [they say '2.1 from anywhere, but let's get real for a moment] and as amazing as my mother thinks I am, convincing Freshfields that I've wanted to do law since I was 5 and 1/2 may not be as straightforward as all that, even if I tell them in rap.

Ahhh Stanford. Set in the beautiful land of California, somewhere close to San Francisco, it's a dream and a half away. The application process itself won't be too bad I think - it's mainly just long-winded, probably to weed out the half-hearted folk. But, it is expensive. But American Universities have that Scholarship thing going on, I hear you clamour. Correct, but this is also another long-winded and infinitely more confusing process, the best ones being applied to by people who already have 1sts from Oxbridge [and occasionally UCL]. I think that will just take time though. I'm more worried about the fact that everyone seems super keen for you to have done stuff outside of your study, even though when you start working for them, you won't have time to do anything but what they want from you.

It's ok though, I've got a plan. This plan, however, means that if you're a good friend of mine, or even live in Edinburgh, you're not going to see or hear from me for literally 1 year, starting in August. I can give my flatmates 4 hours a week, tops. Better make the most of those contact hours kids. Anyway, the plan is to, whilst aiming for a '1st' [hey, you gotta start somewhere] in Chinese, to also:

• take my HSK level 6 [highest level]
• continue with Calligraphy [to show I'm cool and shi']
• continue teaching myself Japanese on the side [just...don't]
• Volunteer for at least an hour a week
• join some sort of society [probably a generic one full of dickheads like Lawsoc or Debatesoc, hoping to rope someone into that one with me..................Sarah]
• not die.

Hahahaha. Yeah I know. I'd like to be buried with my Wii please.

Xx

I'm So BORED

Oh, hi guys, long time no see. Me? Oh, I see, you think I've been off having fun and carousing with my playmates. No, what actually happened is that I was dying of boredom, languishing away in  a corner of my room, staring blankly of the pages of my textbooks. 'How?' You ask. Maybe even 'Why?'. Well, I'll tell you. I'm bored. I am soooo bored and, if it pleases the court, I'd like to go home now please.

I was briefly revitalised by a city break Serrena and I took to Beijing [you know how I love those city breaks]. It was completely spur of the moment, not mention on school days, and was really nice mainly because I wasn't in Dalian.

Dalian's just really dry at the moment, literally and figuratively. It got the rain out of its system over two days and it's well on its way to Summer, but there really is not anything to do here. For me anyway. I'm not teaching English, I'm not involved in any sort of activities [except for calligraphy, once a week for one hour] and, to be blunt, there are no mans. Unless you're into that whole 50-year-old-english-teacher-with-no-direction-and-a-few-too-many-trips-to-the-'massage'-parlour thing.

Don't get me wrong, I've got a sh- load of worky-work to do and, as I'm fast approaching my final year, have to start planning my life [surprisingly stressful, see next post for more info]. But this. is. what. is. boring. Maybe if I was in a more exciting city or got to move in my second semester I would still have some interest in my life in China. But Dalian has nothing. Seriously, I don't know how people have been here for 3 years, even 7! Just teaching English! I'm dying, basically, and that is why I haven't written anything in a while. Because nothing has happened. At all.

So be prepared for the next however many posts to be long rants about my life, cause that's all there is kids. You'll regret asking me to update my blog.

Oh, and as an end note, I'm not just restarting my blog because Sarah has got back to Germany and started hers up again...[http://theonlyquestioniswhy.blogspot.co.uk/]...Seriously...I was receiving complaints.

Xx

Attack of the New Leaf

Having decided that last semester was largely wasted and much more Chinese could have been learnt through better employment of our time, we, as a group of three [but mainly me and Holly], decided to turn over a New Leaf. Note the capitalisation. This proverbial New Leaf includes such additions as All-Chinese Wednesdays, where we speak Chinese even at home, and such subtractions as western television. It's actually going well so far [baring in mind it's the second week of term]: I've successfully made and stuck to a new timetable, making my working day essentially 8-till-8; found and begun watching semi-OK Chinese programs; and going to bed super early whilst going out less on the weekends. It all sounds wonderful.

This preamble, however, leads me to my material point and the crux of this post: Can you be too hard-working, and therefore over-productive? The answer, of course, is yes, you can. I know this because at exactly 16:21 this afternoon (GMT +8:00) I ran out of things to do. I can hear you, though, protesting, clamouring to tell me that when learning a language such as Chinese there's always something to do. Read a book, practice some characters, watch some tv, translate some song lyrics, preview the next 42 lessons. There are two things wrong with the point you're trying to make.

First of all, you have mistaken this post for some sort of discussion or debate. It's not. It is, in fact, me forcing my opinion on to you. So shut up and read.

Second of all, I've actually already done most of these things - being one of those people who puts doing and being above and beyond at the top of her list, I've even marked all the tones on the characters for lessons we have yet to come to. But, if I preview any more lessons, I won't actually understand what I'm reading; if I read any more  'above my level' Chinese my head might just fall off; if I practice any more of the same characters, they'll be etched into my eyeballs for eternity; if I watch any more tv, I'll finish the good series too quickly and have to move onto the truly terrible ones all too soon; if I listen to any more Chinese music, I'll just throw up. And so herein lies the problem.

Why not do some other timetabled activities, like Dissertation reading perhaps, or maybe some light post-graduate research? BECAUSE IT'S A SCHEDULE AND YOU CAN'T DEVIATE FROM THE SCHEDULE. Hmph. It's OK. I'm sure my HSK [Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi - Chinese Level Test] book gets more interesting the more you read it...

Xx

News and Culture: A Place to Work

Back in the land of the Starbucks and the home of the small, private-owned cafe, finding a place to study in peace is a easy as leaving your house, spinning round in a circle and walking straight for 10 yards in whatever direction you're facing. As westerners we love studying outside of our own residences. Whether in the oppressive silence of the Library or the twats-with-ipads filled chain coffee shops, towns and cities are filled with places to suit your needs, from a socket for your charger to some afternoon Norah Jones.You may be thinking how's she going to make a post that's essentially about a good cup of coffee and a cosy chair into a 'cultural' discussion, but bare with me, there is some relevance.

The Chinese, however, don't seem to have caught on to this happy phenomenon of studying away from the bedroom/living-room/bed/kitchen table. I've never seen a Chinese student bending over textbooks in local Amici cafe, and the waiting staff all look slightly curious when you sit down at 11, spread yourself out and set up for the afternoon. This is probably because, overall, it's not all that easy to find a good place to study, at least in Dalian. I'll give you some examples to illustrate my point.

The afore mentioned Amici is probably one of the only 'ok' places, but is unhappily well-known amongst foreigners, of which there are about 13 in Dalian, and so you're very likely to walk in and recognise pretty much everyone there - not the ideal study environment. It doesn't help the the coffee and music are below-par too. There are also Starbucks and Costas around town, a nice blast to the past and very rarely filled with westerners. What they are filled with however is a lot of loud-talking, cigarette-smoking Chinese people. Even having gotten used to this, one then has to adapt to the Chinese take on 'atmosphere' which usually means dim-lighting and too-loud 80's hits. Added to this multitude of complaints is the lack of toilets, even in these western style cafes. Having to run to the nearest McDonalds every 2 hours isn't ideal, and therefore rules out half the cafes in Dalian.

Of course, there are some places that are perfect. Unfortunately, they're either quite expensive [3 or 4 pounds for a cuppa] or already 'belong' to someone. I'm a great believer in personal space, and also tend to be easily distracted, and so finding my own place is of great concern. I would, of course, just stay at home, if my bed weren't there, or just go to the library, if it weren't literally the most depressing place in the world. So the search is well under-way for a perfect place this semester. First on the list is the well-known but little visited Central Perk cafe. Yes, it is in immitation of 'Friends' eternal meeting place. No, it's nowhere near as good, but as good as the Chinese version was ever going to be. Yes, they do play 'The best of the Noughties' on repeat, but I brought my own ipod as a contingency. So far, so good I would say. The big-screen showing of series 6 of 'Friends' is slightly distracting, but at least it's on mute.

Xx