Tuesday 27 September 2011

Vibes

This is the promised post about going out and meeting people in Dalian. I've come up the brilliant idea of posting a series of videos and pictures 'detailing' nights out, so you can be wildly entertained by our gallivanting - be warned, we get progressively more.....intoxicated.


Just to explain, the title of this post - Vibes - is kind of a private joke between us flatmates. If your a person of normal intelligence, it's probably not a riddle as to what it's in reference to, I won't spell it out as I've been requested to use my discretion...







So you can put names to faces I'll just give you a quick run down of the most important people who appear in these photos. 
There's me [obviously] the only non-white-or-asian to appear in any photo I believe. There's also Holly and Serrena - Holly being the tiny white girl with short hair and Serrena the petite asian with massive hair. The two Chinese ladies who apparently high-jacked my camera at some point are our Chinese 姐姐 [jiějie, elder sister(s)] Connie [short hair] and Vivian [long, brown hair]. Connie's husband Jimmy [or he could be Jamie...we're never quite sure] also pops up every now and again - he's more Connie's bodyguard and chaparone and they run a French Café together.

Hopscotch's DJ and mine and Serrena's adopted 哥哥 [gēge, older brother] JiaoZi is floating around in some of the pictures and even in some of the videos when he can escape from the pressures of putting on a 3 hour playlist and bringing us free shots - the reason why he's not Holly's gege will be explained later on of course, I would never leave you hanging.

The foreign looking guy [you have to admit, he does look foreign] is Alex - he's from Belarus and features more heavily later on in the story.
Finally there are our two American 朋友 [péngyou, friend(s)] Eric [bald, head and shoulders taller than pretty much everyone] and Warren [almost as tall as Eric, but actually has hair and is quite good-looking].


Most of these pictures are taken at a bar called Hopscotch which is pretty much one of four decent places to go in Dalian. The only 'club' club for westerners is a place called JD's which is really not worth the packed bar, lecherous 30-something-year-olds and really, really bad music. Like really bad - I do not have good taste in music but even I can recognize. There are a few other places that are quite enjoyable such as Joe's, Transformer's and Hertz Bar, but the clubbing scene is pretty 马马虎虎[mamahuhu, so-so - literally the most common phrased bandied about] to be honest.




Also I have something to tell you...I'm not gonna lie to you guys - we've started living for the weekends. With 8 o'clock starts everyday and nothing to do in the evening except work, eat and go to bed at 10:30, its all we can do to remember that there is a meaning to life, somewhere. I mean, Serrena does keep me going with such gems as "What would you do if you found out the guy you were sleeping with only has one leg/ a glass eye" and "What would you do if you found out your friend was a prostitute" - but still, livin' ain't easy.


It's a small scene in Dalian, but really enjoyable with the right people. A typical Saturday [so far] has been a mix of going to someone's house, drinking a horrendous amount, going to Hopscotch, drinking even more and then going to Asian Karaoke [KTV], probably with a stop off for McDonalds somewhere along the way. Just so you know, as if you couldn't have guessed, I love KTV - I think it's a magical invention and whoever did invent it made it with me in mind. Surprisingly, noone else is as big a fan as I am - maybe they're just not as cool as me.

Oh yeah - We had our house warming as well! I almost forgot [although this is early on in the story for you guys, I actually added this bit after I had posted] - Pictures below. We managed to bring in a huge crowd, including an impressive number of Koreans [breaking the Koreans is considered an achievement - they move as a pack].


OH and there's bumper cars at the beach [about 3 minutes away from hopscotch] - so basically we become so inebriated that we believe driving into each other at top speed in 'bumper' cars that wouldn't pass a health and safety at the dodgiest fun-fare in Yorkshire is a good idea. Needless to say you feel it on a Sunday morning, and Mondays usually consist of showing off your bruises to those also in pain. Alex neglected to tell me till after I had gone on them for the first time that one time after a session he wasn't able to turn his head for a week. I told you driving in China was dangerous.




Ok, so to explain about Holly and JiaoZi. I know you've been waiting for it. It's not anything too exciting, but it gets amusing in places. So basically [I really need to stop starting sentences like that], Holly and Serrena had met this drumming society before I got to Dalian [African drumming, not Chinese] and had seen JiaoZi playing with them at Hopscotch. Seriously, Hopscotch is the focal point of our lives, so I might just have to shorten it to H - be prepared for that. Long story short, Holly cornered him later on, demanded his phone number along with other private information such as his relationship status. I was obviously informed of the situation before being taken to H for the first time. She had been texting him since this first meeting and was being... well, rather forward and obvious to put it bluntly.
"I don't think he's getting the vibes," she explained when I asked how it was going. She was soon to be proved wrong. I mean, when a guy brings you a Hello Kitty blanket when you mention that it's a bit chilly, there must be something going on right? One time I was sitting in between them and actually had to move because I was being crushed by the vibes. After a long period of 'not getting the vibes' JiaoZi invited Holly back to his place to 'watch a film'....except they really did only just watch a film, which was as disappointing as you could possibly imagine. But ever persistent, Holly eventually just sent him a text message that essentially said "你要不要?" [Directly - and accurately -translated as "Do you want or not?"]. It turns out he did 要 - and the rest is history ;).

Oh, this day was also christened Candle Day - as JiaoZi was sweet enough to bring around his own candle, which he then proceeded to light before...hand. It has been a great source of amusement for us ever since. I like jiaoZi - he's very sweet and extremely polite, sometimes when we wake up in the morning he's even cleaned our house for us! He also enjoys KTV - he's a keeper in my books.


Don't think I was gonna let Serrena get away with it either - she's done enough vibing for 50 people and the doughnut references need a shout out.  So basically, any guy who's...well, any guy really catches her eye. Don't get me wrong, she's not that kinda girl, she's just not very...focused. Well, she's likes boys is what I'm tryna say.

I think she's got some sort of focus now at any rate, which is good, and is also where Alex reappears in the story. She's taken a fancy to him [I think it's his deadpan Russianess] and it all started with a doughnut. Basically, she had already decided that he was attractive, but then he bought her doughnuts. Now, if you're looking for any advice on how to snag Serrena, all you need to know is that Food is the Way to her Heart. Note the capitalization. Then he brought her even more doughnuts, and now he's all she can bloody talk about.

"I caught Alex staring at me, but I don't know if he was just staring at my eyelashes." Is one such gem. She's also taken to learning Russian, or at least enough to impress him...or impress upon him what she wants depending on your interpretation of the situation. Despite warnings that she may be being too forward, especially for a guy as...traditional as Alex, she's persevering, which is very admirable in my opinion. "He knows what he wants" she insists - well, at least there's no mistaking what she wants. I'm a bit worried she's becoming obsessed actually - she's a pro fb stalker, to the extent that she knows when he was last online, and has suddenly developed an interest in becoming fitter. Well, each to their own


And me? Well, I don't really kiss and tell [not about myself anyway], so you're just gonna have to do with other people's gossip! Besides, too many members of my family read this for me to be casually giving out certain details of my...experiences.....
So if we're friends in real life, you can ask me about it [that is not a guarantee that I will tell you] and you can also see the pictures on facebook if it's not working for you here. I hope that's enough information for now, enough to warrant the fact that I haven't posted anything in over a week anyway! Bear in mind that I still don't have the internet on my own computer, and am planning on buying a smaller, functional model soon enough.

The first time you read this post it may not have all the photos/videos up - I just wanted to get something out there for you guys to be jealing over!


Comments & Questions xx *^_^*

Saturday 17 September 2011

Week 1

My first week of lessons is over and I am so f***ing tired it's unbelievable. My timetable looks something like 8 o'clock starts everyday, with lessons till 12 except on a Wednesday when I have lessons till 3. That essentially means waking up everyday at the non-time 6-something-o'clock and sleeping in between classes. There's something refreshing about being around so early in the morning, not to mention the fact that it's quite convenient having your entire afternoon free. But I can imagine winter mornings crammed onto a single-decker bus with all the people who live in Dalian is going to be less than appealing. I may have to walk to lessons instead.


I say lessons, because University here is very much like being back at school again. We have a timetable that tells you exactly what you're going to study in each class, detailing breaks during and in-between classes and list of the names of all your classmates. They're also very strict on attendance -each teacher gives you their phone number so you can call them in advance if you're not going to be able to make it to class, or if you get assaulted by a suspicious Chinese man on a night out. They warn you to be cautious - especially the western girls who like to go out drinking. Make sure you always know where your friends are! And the classrooms are just that - no wandering in late, hungover and sagging into a chair at the back of the class to not listen [if not nap] for 45 minutes. We all but have assigned seats, and the teacher keeps us on our toes by picking on people to read out the answer to their homework, or the texts in the book. Constant concentration is the key to survival.


It's definitely a work hard play hard situation, as Holly would say. Every class has homework, and the homework's usually due in for the next day. So that essentially means you move between your house and the university [and back again] 5 days a week. Lunch times are a nice break - they're almost 2 hours long, so it means a lot of time eating cheap Chinese dishes with your friends. I've made better friends with the people in Holly and Serrena's classes [中一 and 二 respectively ] than in my own class [初二]. And the weekends have become some sort of sacred time, where you must leave the house on a Friday night, or risk going insane - you can't study all the time after all.


But when you're not studying, you're probably doing some sort of revision. As I write this post Holly [on Saturday] is lying next to me doing a vocabulary review, and of course I can't help but over-hear. Putting characters in this post also counts as revision [in my book] and even when we go out with our English-speaking Chinese friends, we demand vocabulary from them. Everything is learning - which I suppose is the point in spending time in China in the first place.
But it's seriously tiring. It's nice to be able  to go home and escape China for a while - I would have hated to be in a home-stay or dorms. It doesn't help that we were all ill this week from our sh*t dribble...y shower.

The round-off to my first week back at school was my 换班考试 [the exam you take if you want to move classes]. I had somehow got it into my head that my class was too easy for me - in my defence we had spent three lessons studying grammar points that I had already studied in Edinburgh, not to mention I already knew half of the 'new' vocabulary we were learning. The start of the test was ok - my Edinburgh classmate Anitra, who took the test with me agrees - but it got hard to the point I didn't understand what the questions were about. I don't think I would have changed class - but only Monday will reveal all!

Serrena is upset that she hasn't had a shout out in this particular post, but I'm sure the next post about Vibes [the post I've been promising about meeting people in Dalian] will have more than enough information about how she spends her time.

Questions & Comments   :S        xxx



Monday 12 September 2011

Getting to know 大连 Part 2 - 大学

大学 [dàxué - University] for reference. 

This post is mainly gonna be about the University registration process [which is long as, and will probably end up being another virtual rant], the new people I've been meeting, and some of the old ones from Edinburgh. I don't have any pictures, so you're gonna have to make do with descriptions or - for the more professional readers - facebook stalking my recently added friends. 

So the actual process of paying fees, registering and getting my books was a long and strenuous process, lasting about 2 weeks. Needless to say, besides the 4 photos requested, the university seemed to need an extra photo at every stage in the registration process, delaying it by several days. And though the tuition fees are £850 a term, they neglect to mention before I got to China that they would need an extra £50 for registration fees and another £30 for my books. Then they had to confiscate everyone's passport for about a week to change the Visa, which unhappily coincided with me needing to photocopy it to give to the people who had stolen my luggage [I now consider them thieves]. So this Friday had me running around photocopying, faxing and flat out demanding from Chinese people who don't know how to be anything but aggressive or off-hand, and don't understand you if you're neither.

Well at least the testing process was [relatively] painless. It consisted of two tests: a writing/reading/listening which I thought I did well in and a speaking test which I obviously did not do so well in. The reason I say this is because I was put in a class lower than had wanted, but it was to be expected really. Holly was put in one class above me and Serrena two. They were surprised that I wasn't in a higher class, but I wasn't. It was more of a reality check for me and besides they had been in China for a while, so it was probably obvious that they were going to do better than me.

But that aside, the people that we met during, before and after the tests ranged between interesting and the aptly named [by Serrena] 'wet fish'. So I'll make a sort of list. There was an over-keen American [or eager-beaver, Holly's label of choice], a couple of Russians [a 'nice' girl and a Pokemon-catcher], and some cute Japanese girls [and a boy]. Now, to explain the above children's cartoon reference. Basically, a Pokemon-catcher is someone who's fishing for Asians, male or female. The particular male mentioned above actually stole my seat without so much as a backward glance to talk to a cute Japanese girl called Yumi-chan whom I had been chatting with. The term has been bandied about ever since. I love it.

As for the Edinburgh 'crew', I was never really that close to them to begin with and so didn't really expect any of them to...'beg it' shall we say. Most of them don't, of course. When we first arrived we only knew each other [and then the american sort of latched on to an Edinburgh student with the same name-sake], so of course we hung out together, Holly being the most forward and friendly of our flat. However, a certain female who I shall not name here for security reasons has begun to... beg it slightly, a sort of continuation of her behavior in Edinburgh. Well, I don't shirk new friends often, but even I have to say there's a limit to soliciting friendship

And that's it really for now - just a quick update. Other news besides includes the fact that my stuff still hasn't arrived and I've found someone who knows how to enabled a blackberry in Dalian! But I'll save news on the small community of waiguo ren in Dalian for a later post
For the more pedantic of readers, the reason there's so many grammatical errors in my previous post [and probably this one as well]  is because I'm not using my own computer at the moment and writing mainly on a friend's iPad. So stop judging.

Comment & Questions                   ;)         xx

Saturday 10 September 2011

Taxi!!

Since being in China I have almost died several times. Literally. I don't like to add drama to my life or exaggerate a situation - my friends can vouch for that. I feel an explanation is needed.

Despite rumors that China is catching up to the west and that its economy will indeed take over that of the USA very soon, I've come to the conclusion that China is a third world country. There have many things that have lead me to this conclusion, but for the purposes of this discussion i'm going to stick to the state of the roads. If you've ever been to a third world country, you'll know that things like lanes and driving on the left are more of a guideline than a rule. With China always wanting to make a good impression, if not one of superiority, I would have thought their roads better. I was quickly [and thoroughly] disabused.

I got a taxi from the airport to my flat, as stated in a previous post. What I did not state [I was saving it up for a big occasion] was my experience within this taxi. First of all I reached for my seatbelt, as one usually does when entering a vehicle. My first hint should have been the fact that said seatbelt was dusty and stiff from disuse. However, I persevered in pulling it out, only to find there was no fastener. The driver certainly did not make a move for his seatbelt.

Now, this state of affairs would have been manageable, if not so comfortable, had my driver not proceeded to drive like a madman. I'm talking, wondering if I remembered to write down my insurance number in my diary scared. Of course, we were driving at top speed, but into the back end of a queue of traffic, narrowly missing cars turning into side roads. Also, just for future reference, lanes are just guidelines. A road with 3 lane dividers on either side (a typical amount) can easily have 6 or 7 lanes of cars. I'm surprised that they even bother sticking to their side of the road. Although having said that,it isn't uncommon to drive at full speed into oncoming traffic for about 500m before swerving harshly back into your own lane, to get a little ahead of a snaking queue of traffic.

And horns are used liberally here, which is nice. They go well with the screeching of tyres and the near death experience of everyday civilians. Well, I suppose there's more than one method of population control... People just ignore the horning, which is unsurprising as people seem to do it for no apparent reason, other than being taken aback at having to share the road with someone else.

People cross the roads just as crazily too - zebra crossings, though well respected landmarks in the British Isles, are more than ignored here by drivers and pedestrians alike. And so, crossing the road is a struggle for survival. One that I pay close attention to now, as I was recently informed that the penalty for running someone over is more than for just killing them. So 'manslaughter' isn't that uncommon then.....

I just thought I'd write this little piece just in case you ever visit china and wonder wtf is going on, or if you find out that I've died in a road accident, so you wont be too shocked. Tbh, in a country where shouting 'taxi' is more to warn someone of impending doom than to hail a cab, I'll be surprised if i last the year.....

Questions & Comments -_- Xx

Thursday 8 September 2011

Getting to know 大连 Part 1 - Living

Ignoring the bitterness of my previous post, I'm starting to get settled here in 大连 [Dalian].I have a house, friends, the internet [at last] and have registered with the 大学 [University].
The rest of my belongings have yet to arrive and I still can't figure out how to get a Blackberry enabled sim, but things are looking up. I've included some pictures of my flat [and one of Serrena...covering her face] so you can get some idea of my living conditions. My room's apparently the 'small' one, but my room in my first year at Edinburgh was actually smaller, and was considered a good size....





I've also included some pictures of my area in dalian, so you can can get a general idea. It's really hot here atm as well! No British Summer bs, it's been like 25 degrees every day!



The Internet doesn't really like my computer - so don't expect updates too often -_-.  I might have to buy a new laptop the way things have been going. We keep having to call up the landlord's computer-whizz friend, adding a lot of  "对不起"s and "不好意思"s [essentially "I'm really sorry!"]. At least for now I can watch Geordie Shore - why-aye! But anyway, I wanted to regale you with the story of my luggage - it is a tale to be told.

Basically, as my allowance on the plane was only 20kg [nonsense, do people just come to China for weekend breaks?] I had to send some stuff over in another suitcase, weighing roughly 35kg. Now, I was using UPS so you'd think the internationally known, world-renowned company would know what it was doing. However, Edi is moving to China, so we have to make sure things are a bit s*** for at least a week So it was meant to arrive within 1-3 days - if I wasn't expecting the 1, and doubtful about the 3, I at least wasn't panicking when it got to 4 without hearing a peep from them. Apparently our road is pretty hard to find [it's in a sort of compund] but you know, they would call if they were lost right?

WELL, speaking of lost, on Tuesday [day 5] my mother receives a call from the Frankfurt Branch of UPS. Oh yes, Frankfurt Germany. Ain't no Frankfurt in China mate. "Hello, we have a package with no address, but we found your name and number on it, so we thought we would call you for confirmation."
"I beg your pardon?" My mum probably said [we're very polite people].
Turns out the frickin' lorry driver tried to get fresh with my mum [people don't do that - if you saw my mum you certainly would not], telling her not to staple the bloody address onto the suitcase, that a sticky label will be enough. My mum, obviously, protests but eventually backs down [this is a man's life work we're talking about here] and so chaos ensues. It turns out the sticky label bollo-- nonsense did fall off in the end, and my bag ended up lost in translation as well as Germany.

But it's at least in China now [ the Frankfurt man was very helpful - thank God all germans speak English] but now they want a photocopy of my passport faxed to them [i'm sorry, from whence am I meant to procure a fax machine?]. STOP BEING SO SUSPICIOUS AND JUST GIVE ME MY FUCAAAAaahhhhhhhhh....*hrumph* my suitcase. Please. This is all I want. Thank you.

Also, I'm sure opening a Chinese bank account is meant to be easier than it was for me. Serrena didn't seem to find it very hard, but then she is ethnically Chinese. I think they're just denying me [and Holly] because we have different eye shapes.....A least I've managed to find a job [something that's apparently very easy to do, and you get paid a bundle!], but more on that in a more positive post!



As my mum keeps reminding me I've been in China for less than a week, but I'm the sort of person where everything has to be organised either before or as soon as I get to a new place. My flatmates are pretty relaxed about it as well - they've been soooo helpful. But me being me I've come close to my version of a panic attack [sighing deeply and shaking my head repeatedly] quite a few times. I'm not usually a high-strung person by the way. I'm just a firm believer in organisation and have a crew to that effect [yes people still have crews - don't knock it till you've tried it].

So that's just a brief intro to what's been going on so far - there are plenty more stories to be told I'm sure! Next posts should be about uni so far, going out [only been out once but still, it was an experience] and a little note about Taxis....they're an experience worthy of a whole post.

Questions & Comments        ^.^      <<< Can you see how I've become more positive?              xx

Saturday 3 September 2011

Touchdown....Culture shock

When moving to China, I did the very smart thing of learning next to nothing about the culture I was going to be immersed in for a year. I knew some stuff - I had had Chinese lessons of course and I know quite a lot about Asia in general. Of course I do. When you watch enough anime [not to mention J, K and T dramas] to score 90/100 on a sporcle quiz, start recommending anime based on your friends' personalities and learn enough conversational Japanese to sail through a comic-con convention whilst demanding to know when the next season of Bakuman is being released, you'll find that your general knowledge of the East is somehow one-up on most people.

However I think I'm still going through some sort of culture shock.
"Culture shock? Me? No way." I had originally thought to myself. The only thing that's ever shocked me was finding out that Goku couldn't be revived after the Cell Saga, and I was 12 at the time. But I realised when I touched down in Dalian and a taxi driver cornered me, hauling away my suitcase, taking my directions [and subsequently getting lost] that I really don't speak Chinese. My flatmates told me not to worry, no one can understand taxi drivers. But they've already been in China for a month, and being around them makes me feel slightly sick - compared to me they're amazing.

Also, it was a moderate surprise to find I can't drink the tap water here, and that water would have to be bought in droves. Apparently the bread isn't very nice either. And people spit in the streets. And it kinda smells. Well, actually it smells a lot - and really bad. And people really don't have the time of day if you're not able to communicate in Chinese. One funny experience trying to buy a toaster and ending up with an empty box also taught us that people don't use common sense as much as they should.

Not everything is foreign however. As blogspot and all interweb-based forms of fun are banned in The People's Republic, you may be wondering how I am still posting and, if we're friends, how I'm still commenting on Facebook. Apparently, there are many ways to bypass what is 'commonly' known as the Great Firewall of China [haha.....haaa], but the one gadget I've picked up on is a VPN service. Mainly because my University provides one for free - most of the good ones you apparently have to pay for. I have no idea how it works [I'm still tryna learn how to use Facebook properly], but it does and as you can see it's incredibly handy. I could have gone a year without Facebook, but certainly not anime. So, if you're going to China and still want to be connected to the non-police state from which you originate, I suggest getting one of these things, especially if you can procure one for free, or with minimal cost to yourself.

Of course I'm not using my own laptop - oh no. The internet isn't working for me, I'm currently writing this post from a friend's computer. Neither can I withdraw money without transferring some to the same friend's account and smiling persuasively so she'll let me withdraw it - damn you HSBC! My other suitcase has not yet arrived yet either, and as our street is apparently impossible to find [taxi drivers get pissed off really easily] I'm worried it never will.I know I've only been here for two days, but having things not organised within 2 seconds of my arrival in a new place is my idea of culture shock.

You can expect photos and things when I get my internet working[if I get my internet working], but for now, I'm going to weep softly into my pillow whilst trying to adjust my body-clock.
An early trip to IKEA must be made for a bedside table. *sigh*

Comments & Questions                      xx