下雪，下学 (Xiàxuě, Xiàxué)

As you can see from the title of my post, I'm now good enough at Chinese to make my wit international. The literal meaning of the title is 'Snowing, Finish school', which, conveniently enough, is what I want to talk about. Oh, and for those of you still in awe: that's right, I punned in Mandarin.

So Dalian is 冻死了【Dongsile, essentially 'cold enough to kill a person'】at the moment, to the extent that my teacher actually thanked us for coming into class today. The Belarussians just nodded gravely - they're used to this sh*t. But not me, and certainly not at this time of the year. You can all see the date, right? On Tuesday [the 22nd, depending on when I post this] it started snowing. S-n-o-w-i-n-g. It's f***ing November! As Serrena would say "Are you sh*tting on my face?!" Today I was actually raped by the wind on my way to school, to the extent that a normally 15-20 minute walk took just over half an hour. They wouldn't call a snow day, not even in the UK [the snow will not settle with these gale force winds] but it's already -3 degrees. But that's ok, it won't stay like this. It will get colder and colder every month reaching [declining to?] a peak [how do you say this?!] of -15. Excuse me? People actually live like this? Until APRIL?! Needless to say, I'm not 一直 [yizhi, continuously, always] staying here.

I'm planning to 回国 [huiguo, return to the motherland] for a few weeks between Jan and mid-Feb, but besides that I've decided that Dalian is just too... anyway, I can't stay here. Holly and Serrena are going travelling and so am I. Having complained about cold for this long, I feel now is the right time to tell you that I'm going to Harbin for a few days to see the Ice festival at the northern-most region of China during the coldest part of the year... ^-^! In my defence, being an Ice festival it only takes place in winter, and I'm only going to be around at the beginning of the holidays [when it will be all nice and fresh] or at the end [when it would have been trampled down into slushy brown puddles of something-that-used-to-be-a-statue-of-Mao-but-now-looks-like-something-my-dog-threw-up-ness]. And look how pretty and extravagant and Asian everything is:

And look how nice my Hostel of Choice sounds.

I also wanted to go Dandong to wave at some North Koreans from across the border, but I was informed that Winter may not be the best time for that. 'That' being going outside. I may also squeeze Beijing in there somewhere before I return to the UK. In February, I may take a trip down south to Hainan Dao [Dao = Island] a place in China where there is no winter [why am I in the North again?] or somewhere else warm and fun. We'll see what the funds are saying.

Sorry about all the Chinglish today guys! I'd just finished doing my homework - you're lucky I didn't write this in Chinese first then google translate yo' ass. 

Comments & Questions  ^.^     Xx

P.S. I was recently informed that the URL for my blog was incorrect, as I do speak Chinese, and that my blog was, indeed, not as witty nor as entertaining as I thought [or think] it was [is]. Well, to that person, 1. I do not speak Chinese, and you know this! And 2. Find something better to do with your time then, and stop wasting it reading boring things. Hmph.

News and Culture: China is Taking Over the World

I thought I was having trouble finding something to write about this week, as everything I was reading was about this G20 and APEC [Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation] meetings and you know... I don't really get economics. But I eventually realised that that was the story. You know how we all know that China's going to take over the world? Well, apparently it's happening a lot sooner than we thought.

As you may or may not know, depending on your outlook on international politics, the G20 summit took place at  some point in Cannes, as did the APEC [in Honolulu, that's right, the top dogs got a holiday to Hawaii] and the big news was meetings between China's current paramount leader Hu Jintao and the man himself, Obama. You can read more about that on your own time. At the summit in general, Hu talked about the need for development in the APEC and the need for equal economic development opportunities. The article is available for you to read here, but the gist I got from it is that China is going to try and develop with a bigger focus on balance and green energy, and countries need to back-off with the protectionism.

If you don't know about Big Hu, here's a little bit for you. Coming from seriously humble origins and rising to power despite his father's denunciation during the Cultural Rev,  Hu was a bright pupil and managed to rise through the ranks of the Communist party. Although he's not got much going on in the sparkle department, he has presided over a period of continuous growth in China, cementing it as a world power. And, you know, a scandal free government's always nice. He seems like a sweet guy.

Anyway, during the APEC all eyes seemed to be on China. In the G20 as well, China couldn't help but take the centre stage as European countries look to what is essentially still a developing country for some bailout: China Daily article. And why is this? Why, because China is the most important country in the world all of a sudden. "Yuan to replace Dollar in 10 years" and "US vs China: Who rules?" are just a couple of examples of headlines that have popped up after the first few weeks of November [China - rt]. Being one of the only countries in the world whose economy has not taken a hit but, on the contrary, has steadily increased for over a decade, there are rumours flying that China is going to be number one sooner than we all thought and that the Yuan might soon be the world's reserve currency. Though that might get a bit irritating as their largest note is the equivalent of a tenner.

And the US? Well, apparently they're on the way out and [surprisingly enough] aren't taking it too well. But before you pin me as a sensationalist, here's the article that I'm summarising for you to glance over: http://rt.com/news/us-china-yuan-tension-229/, as well as China post's front page http://www.chinapost.com.tw/china/. So yeah, just so you can't say you weren't warned, China's comin' to get ya'. Good luck to you, westerners!

In other news, here's some Interesting Shorts I found whilst perusing, enjoy!

Comments & Questions

News and Culture: Singles Day

In order to force myself to read more about Chinese news and culture I've decided that I'm going to do a discussion/homework style post every week - this way we can all be well informed :-). Don't worry though, I'll try and include all the usual levels of wit and academically profound writing style.

This week's post is going to focus on the Chinese 'pop-culture' holiday Singles Day or 光棍节 [guangunjie], which takes place on the 11th of November. No, they don't celebrate Armistice Day in China. Although 节[jié] in this context means 'festival', as you don't get any time off and Hallmark doesn't make a card for it, I think just 'day' or even 'evening' would be a much more appropriate translation. Originating in Nanjing University in 1993, Single's Day is meant to be celebrated with single friends either eating dinner or going on 'blind dates' to bid farewell to their single lives. It's also a day where Chinese people depart from their usual manner of trying to pay for everyone else and everyone pays for themselves instead, sort of as a show of independence.

According to Wikipedia [look, it's not coursework ok?]: "For breakfast on Singles Day, singles often eat four Youtiao (deep-fried dough sticks) representing the four "ones" in "11.11" and one Baozi(steamed stuffed bun) representing the middle dot." See, you learn something new everyday. Did you know they were planning on making a card for it? Although, someone pointed out "who would send a card to a single person?"...Slightly harsh.

We went to our usual haunt [if you don't know it's Hopscotch, you obviously haven't been reading the blog very carefully], and I saw the most Chinese people I had ever seen there. We had remarked that the number of Chinese coming to H lately had been more than usual, but seriously. It's like they had all been at home being too busy and single to ever come out before - but here they all were, all at once. DJ Jiaozi [you remember him?] was going around handing out glow-stick wristbands to all singles, so that they were easily identifiable. However, as some of my Chinese friends told me, there weren't any 帅哥[guys, specifically good-looking on a day like this] to tempt them. We went to a Chinese club later as well and, as expected, that was packed too. Although it could have just been a typical Friday night.

So, to sum up: Singles Day, get involved! I think it would help liven up Armistice day as well: a sober day followed by a not-so-sober evening. To be honest, from what I've seen the Chinese one is pretty tame so they might be a bit offended by a western take on the whole thing, especially if there's a Geordie Shore Special on it.


A couple of other news items:
1. The Chinese seem suspiciously excited that Berlusconi is resigning - 'Berlusconi resigns, crowds in Rome celebrate'. Also, I love how the new guy in charge is called Mario - go Italy!
2. Did you know they're opening an Angry Birds shop?! Come on now people... '1st Angry Birds shop
3.Pandas coming to Edinburgh! Now I will actually have to go to Edinburgh Zoo...again when I get back - Pandas coming soon to UK
4. For those of you who actually care about China's economy [Tim], a little light reading about the woes of protectionism - China's boom a boon to US business


Aaaannnnd finally, I couldn't be bothered to find an article about it, but congratulations World on containing 7 billion people! Random interesting fact, did you know the population of the world has more than doubled in the past 50 years? Another fact, 25% of the world's population is on the 406 bus that I get to Uni every morning.

Comments & Questions    XxX

Curry! (Amongst other things)

Many of you are probably questioning the exclamation mark in the post title and, as usual, I've taken it upon myself to explain what all the hub-bub is about. So, on Wednesday night we went out for curry - Indian Curry. It was incredible. Now, I don't want to be one of those blogger-dicks who talks about how amazing all their experiences in the country that you're not in are [I'm already one of those two laptop-dicks], but I need to talk about this Curry. Why? Because it wasn't Chinese food. It could've actually been sh*t [the butter chicken wasn't that great], but if it doesn't come with rice, noodles or some very suspicious cuts of meat it usually tastes like it was made by the gods to us ex-pats. You're probably thinking "But Chinese food is great!" Well, I resent your 'but' and throw back in your face the point that not only is Chinese food not  the same as what you get from 'down-the-road', but even you [yes, you] would get sick of it if you had to eat it everyday.

Chinese food back home [wherever that may be for you] is usually made by some well-off restaurant owning Cantonese family, who cater to the western unadventurous palate and don't use MSG. In China, they list MSG as one of the ingredients in their dishes, and even have some on the side next to the Salt and Pepper pots. Sure, the rice is cooked to perfection and the sauces and vegetables different and often delicious, but the meat is usually suspicious. If you want non-suspicious meat you're gonna have to cough up for it, but if you wanna eat for under 10 kuai [1 Brit Pound] don't question anything. But make sure you learn the character for dog.

So anyway we ordered about 5 or 6 different types of curry between us [there were 6 of us] as well as rice and some naan bread. And they had this amazing, cheese-filled Naan as well - I don't know who came up with that but they're a legend in my eyes. The meat was, of course, suspicious, but the rice as I mentioned before was beyond perfection. I had a small food coma after, always nice. Also, beer goes really well with Curry. Wow, I'm becoming more British everyday...


In other news, remember that speech competition I was complaining about [see 'Speech!'], well the school one was held today and I got Second place :-). I should explain that I wasn't the only one to get second - the competition was divided into classes, but out of 30 people I was 1 of 4 to get second. My Flatmates helped me film it, although they kept flipping the camera around and the sound on my camera isn't very good. But it's shot in black and white so it looks quite cool. Here's the link if you're interested:

My Speech

My Certificate of Awesomeness - 二等 means second place

After practising it to death everyday for a week, I found that it wasn't actually that difficult speaking in a language I don't speak in front of some hundred people. My teacher hugged me afterwards [I'm her favourite] and my Korean friends took more pictures than was really necessary, so it was all good fun in the end. I kept telling everyone I didn't want to do it and how annoying it was, but between you and me, I carried my prize under my arm all the way home.

My Prize- A collection of Beijing Opera Costume Make-up  panels

Comments & Questions     ^-^         Xx

Speech!

Ok, so remember that Speech competition I mentioned in my really boring post about studying Chinese? Well, I've decided to go for broke here and post a video of myself reciting my speech, as to help me get over my fear of people actually seeing/hearing me speak Chinese. For many of you, I imagine this will be the first and last time you ever hear me speak Chinese. Especially if I don't actually know you, and you're just some stranger reading my blog...[that's right random people in Vietnam and Finland, I'm talking to you]. It's awful by the way.

The Video just launches straight into it, as I was using it before to practice memorising my speech, but I'll add a little explanation. Below the video is the transcript in Characters and Pinyin [English alphabet with tones, so you may be able to read along...Eva], followed by the English translation [probably in really bad Google Translate-style English]. The Pinyin has a few mistakes, but that's the gist of it, and I really can't be bothered to edit it.

I'm not planning on posting this on facebook, so don't be offended if you just stumble across without me telling you about it - I'm still shy! Although I'm sure my mum will find a way to send it to everyone she knows, including her Chinese friends -__-. That's another thing - if you're a native Chinese speaker [or just better than me] feel free to leave comments about my pronunciation and phrasing! The tones should be alright...as I'm reading off a sheet of pinyin, which is also why I'm not looking at the camera. Well, that's all I have to say about it - it's not very interesting [I'm not trying to win] but I feel like somehow, in some way, this will help me improve my Chinese...or at least my communication skills.

我觉得我在中国的生活很好。我与室友相处得很融洽, 我们每天一起上课,做作业,吃饭什么的. 值得一提的是，我们每天都在同一个地方吃晚饭。可能你会问，“这有什么奇怪的？”但你知道吗？我们每天吃同样的东西！我们刚去的时候，服务员不认识我们，我们不认识他们，但是现在他们一看到我和我的朋友就开始微笑。他们不再问我们“要吃什么？”，反而当我们招手点菜时老板就笑笑说， “我知道呀！干偏豆角，菠萝故咾肉，三碗米饭，三瓶水！”真了解我们！

有时候我们点别的菜老板留意地看了我们一眼，可是她一句也没说。上完菜以后我们尝一尝，不过正如所预料的我们不喜欢它！有时候我们问老板“你可以推荐一道新菜吗？”可是，她推荐的新菜味道跟我们吃过的菜的味道差不多一样！服务员心里比我们更清楚。

最近我在镜子里看自己，就想“哎呀， 我是不是变胖了？为什么？”当然啊！每天吃那么多米饭，一定变成胖子了。我告诉自己，如果你每天继续吃猪肉，你可能会变成一只猪！

Pinyin: Wǒ juéde wǒ zài zhōngguó de shēnghuó hěn hǎo. Wǒ yǔ shì you xiāngchǔ de hěn róngqià, wǒmen měi tiān yīqǐ shàngkè, zuò zuo yè, chīfàn shénme de. Zhídé yī tí de shì, wǒmen měi tiān dū zài tóng yīgè dìfāng chī wǎnfàn. Kěnéng nǐ huì wèn,“zhè yǒu shé me qíguài de?” Dàn nǐ zhīdào ma? Wǒmen měi tiān chī tóngyàng de dōngxi! Wǒmen gāng qù de shíhou, fúwùyuán bù rènshi wǒmen, wǒmen bù rènshi tāmen, dànshì xiànzài tāmen yī kàn dào wǒ hé wǒ de péngyǒu jiù kāishǐ wéixiào. Tāmen bù zài wèn wǒmen “yào chī shénme?”, Fǎn'ér dāng wǒmen zhāoshǒu diǎn cài shí lǎobǎn jiù xiào xiào shuō, “wǒ zhīdào ya! Gàn piān dòujiǎo, bōluó gù lǎo ròu, sān wǎn mǐfàn, sānpíng shuǐ!” Zhēn liǎojiě wǒmen ! 


Yǒu shíhou wǒmen diǎn bié de cài lǎobǎn liúyìde kànle wǒmen yīyǎn, kěshì tā yījù yě méi shuō. Shàng wáncài yǐhòu wǒmen cháng yī cháng, bùguò zhèngrú suǒ yùliào de wǒmen bù xǐhuan tā! Yǒu shíhou wǒmen wèn lǎobǎn “nǐ kěyǐ tuījiàn yīdào xīn cài ma?” Kěshì, tā tuījiàn de xīn cài wèidào gēn wǒmen chīguò de cài de wèidào chàbùduō yīyàng! Fúwùyuán xīnlǐ bǐ wǒmen gèng qīngchu.


Zuìjìn wǒ zài jìngzi lǐ kàn zìjǐ, jiù xiǎng “āiyā, wǒ shì bùshì biàn pàngle? Wèishéme?” Dāngrán a! Měi tiān chī nàme duō mǐfàn, yīdìng biàn chéng pàngzile. Wǒ gàosu zìjǐ, rúguǒ nǐ měi tiān jìxù chī zhū ròu, nǐ kěnéng huì biàn chéngyī zhǐ zhū



Translation: I think I live a good life in China. I get along well with my flatmates: everyday we go to class, do our homework and eat food together, amongst other things. There's only one thing: we eat dinner at the same place everyday. You may ask "Why is this weird?" but did you know? We eat the same thing everyday as well! When we first started going, the waiters didn't know us and we didn't know them, but now whenever they see us coming they start smiling. They no longer ask us "What do you want to eat?", but instead when we start to order, the boss smilingly says "I know! [something like] Fried beans with meat, sweet and sour pork, 3 bowls of rice and 3 bottles of water!" They really know us well!

Sometimes when we order a different dish, the boss looks at us funny but doesn't say anything. When they bring the food over we try it but, as expected, we don't like it! Sometimes we ask the boss "Can you recommend something different for us?", but the dish they recommend tastes almost exactly the same as the dishes we usually eat! They know our hearts better than we do.

Recently I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "Haven't I put on weight? But, why?" Of course [you've put on weight]! If you eat that much rice everyday you will surely get fat. I told myself, if you continue to eat that much pork everyday, you will probably turn into a pig!

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Btw, I'm not usually this serious [you will know this if you've been reading the posts], it's just because I'm concentrating really hard on not making any mistakes [which I do...lol]. Please don't judge me for my terrible Chinese - I did this in one take and I've only been learning for...ok, ignore the last bit, but seriously I only read it over once before recording. I will now never watch the recording again.

I'm going to check and double check this post now as my parents seem to have become the KGB of grammar, when what they should actually be doing is sorting out people's taxes...or making some sort of financial breakthrough...or something. What do my parents do? That's not actually relevant; until next time!

XxXx