The Love Lives of Others

There's nothing new going on in my love life at this particular point in time, but I still feel the need to update my blog. So instead I'm gonna take some time to talk about my....'friend's' respective love lives. No, no, they are actually my friends but, well, you'll see what I mean... or you won't.

So we'll start with Sabrina. Yes, Sabrina. Just roll with it. So Sabrina was going along with Keith [YES Keith], and it was all going fine until they hit a 'where are we' bump in their relationship. So Sabrina wanted to have the standard 'are we boyfriend and girlfriend' talk, when Keith started avoiding her. Feeling that he was avoiding the said 'talk', she finally cornered him and asked him wtf was going on - did he not like her? Was it him? Or was it something else? Turns out, it was something else. Someone else to be more precise. So Keith has known this girl from Beijing for four years. And by known, I mean they started talking to each other online and had never actually seen each other in real life. Yes, you're right, that is weird. What was weirder [is that a word?] is that she had suddenly decided to come up to Dalian for Keith's birthday, and now Keith was in a dilemma because he felt that he liked this random hoe, but didn't want to leave Sabrina in the lurch.

Well, needless to say it just wasn't gonna go down like that. As you haven't really been introduced to Sabrina, let me reassure you that she's really, really fit. In her and Veronica's words [don't worry, we're getting to her] "I'm a f***ing 美女!!" [Essentially, I is buffting].  Turns out she was much fitter than this Beijing chick, who was seriously 马马虎虎 [remember that one? No? Well look it up.] and dry beyond words - she didn't even dance to Keith's music [he's a DJ....DJ Keith.....no?] and it was his bloody birthday! Well, no matter who Keith 'chose' it was clear to us who the real winner was. But anyway, so Keith goes off for a walk with this girl down to the beach, hand in hand. Now, we get Eric to go and spy on them, but nothing is discovered besides the fact that they seem to be sitting awfully close together. Then, Keith comes back and has the nerve to start avoiding Sabrina again! Eventually, we leave. Dick.

Or is he? This was all last weekend [time moves fast here], Friday to be precise. Having not heard from Keith for a few days, Sabrina suddenly gets invited out for coffee - a perfect opportunity to break out her brand new vocab list, including such gems as 花花公子 [huahuagongzi, playboy] and 躲开 [duokai, avoiding, to avoid]. Well, it turns out that she didn't really need all of that, because Keith didn't like this Beijing girl [who in retrospect I feel kinda sorry for] and was just trying to comfort her after breaking the bad news to her. Well, 当然 [dangran, obviously]. But they still hadn't figured out where they were - Keith likes Sabrina, but she had grown bored of his 幼稚 [youzhi, immature] behaviour. Funnily enough, she did actually tell him that went they met up for the coffee talk and he knew immediately that she had looked it up. He's Chinese by the way....if you hadn't got that.

Anyway, talk part 3 still had to occur in Sabrina's mind, so they could finally discuss where they were and see if things could settle back down into comfort blah blah blah. So, yesterday we went to Keith's...place of work, they chatted for a while, and later on [much later, we'll get to that part] Keith came back to... Sabrina's. Now, leaving Keith at work, Sabrina and some others went to a club called Suzy Wong's, and this is where sh*t really went down. So, Ernest [look, are you gonna ridicule the names or are you gonna read the story?] is Sabrina's classmate. They're good friends and well, I thought there was something there before but then obviously the Keith thing went down, so I thought nothing of it. That is until Sabrina informed me that she and Ernest had kissed [he's not some lame, Southern British twat  btw, he's Japanese this is his....English name...] and he's now informing his girlfriend back home of this, in his words, '高高兴兴' [gaogaoxingxing, happy] event. And then she went home with Keith. Needless to say, she's confused herself thoroughly. That's all there is on this one, let's move on to Veronica.

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Aaahh Veronica. Where do I begin? No seriously, where? This drama is looonnng, but it's good so lets get started. So Veronica likes Vladimir [LOL, the names are getting ridiculous] and, as we recently discovered, Vladimir likes Veronica. But it's complicated. Very complicated. But before we get to that there is an extremely amusing filler story. So, after Veronica had told Vlad that she liked him [for the first time], he said that he just wanted to be friends. In a semi-rebound fashion, Veronica decided to give our new acquaintance [wait for it] K-dog a chance. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry. I'm done now. So Big K was at this party that I attended with Veronica and a few others, and basically he and Veronica shared a kiss. Infatuated thusly [I believe his words were 'I thought you were the most beautiful girl in the room the first time I saw you', yeah, ok lover boy] he then proceeded to invite Veronica out for a drink. Now, the next morning, when I inquired as to why Veronica was not attending class, it turns out she was otherwise occupied. With K-d. That's right.

But turns out K-to-the-d-to-the-o-to-the-g did not perform as well as one had hoped. In fact, it was a major fail. I won't regail you with the details, but lets just say he was...attentive in a way that Veronica was neither accustomed to nor interested in. And he's a gazer. Noone likes a gazer. That's just creepy. And then came the texts - which got no reply I should say, poor K-dawg. But bare with me, this is relevant to the overall story - also it's amusing...I think he still likes her bless him.

But her real focus is Vlad. Vlad is in Ver's class, but she didn't decide immediately that she liked him. That is until he started bringing her food...this story's starting to seem a bit similar to one I've told before, so I'm gonna cut to the chase and skip out the long boring details, otherwise we would be here all night. Ver went in for a smooch, but Vlad didn't take the bait. He said he liked her, but for reasons undisclosed to this day, he does not want to do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thang. Seriously, I think that's the most repeated phrase said by guys since I've been in Dalian. It's like some kind of disease. He offered the 'special friend' status, she rightly refused. But there was still this flirting thing going on - Veronica had half-heartedly agreed to the 'just friends' status, but she was becoming slowly obsessed with him, and to be fair Vlad wasn't really sticking to his word, flirting away like a naughty boy. He even convinced her to skip class with him - as if she wasn't already unfocused.  Then they really did kiss. In Subway. It was all very romantic I'm sure. But he's still holding back on the goods - and now she's unsure whether she even wants to be friends with him.

Well, the moonlight walk they took on the beach would appear to contradict everything written above, but I assure you the situation really is unclear. It doesn't help that Ver has absolutely no idea how to play it cool - she analyses every text received to death and sometimes I have to switch conversations if I'm in danger of hearing the same thing I've heard repeated 6 times about one thing that Vlad said in an off-hand sort of way. But she's a versatile lass. Now she's locked in some sort of texting love-war with Bob [tall and hot, that's all you need to know], so I'm not really sure what's going on there. But who knows - it's only Sunday...

You know what, this is pretty complex, so...

In conclusion, this post is completely ridiculous. I think I'm gonna have to make my next post a bit more serious- this blog makes it seem like I have a lot more spare time than I actually do. Seriously, it took me three days to write this nonsense! I hope you're entertained.

                                                                                

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